Dating someone with an ostomy
I felt violated (not by him but by all of the surgeries and medical tests/procedures I had to go through) that I just wasn’t ready.
For the next few months I always had an excuse until we broke up.
Then, two days before my high school graduation, I was intimate with someone who I liked but knew I would never ever get attached to, only because I wanted the experience. Anyway, we had been dating for a while, sort of on and off, and had a very complicated relationship.
Not to be TMI but since there were some “technical issues” the first time, I wasn’t sure if I had truly lost my virginity. I had absolutely no idea what love really was or what the act of making love should be.
As a teenager with an ostomy, I looked at so much of the world differently than I do now that I am older. My first real boyfriend, who I mentioned in part 1, was the first person I was intimate with and he was also the last for a couple of years.
I think it is fun to speak generally to girlfriends about certain things but I am someone who believes what goes on between two people in that respect, should stay that way.
It will help alleviate so much of the burden and energy of keeping such a huge secret.
Also, maybe your friends can help you figure out the best clothes to wear for a date, or if you are in a relationship that has progressed further, talking about some of your fears with your friends can help make the experience a little easier for you.
If you take a little time to explain things, it might make it less scary and begin an open dialogue which could bring you two even closer.
Having someone just google “ostomy” can oftentimes be a lot scarier than if you explained it yourself.
I completely forgot.” We are thinking about it and focusing on our ostomy appliance so much more than anyone else.