How to begin dating after a breakup Sextalk chatlines
Ask the questions, “Are you are ‘ready’ to move on and date because you have truly processed the loss (read: understand why it didn’t work and gained more information about who you are and what you need) or because sitting with those uncomfortable feelings is downright uncomfortable? Unfortunately, if you don’t know how to identify your feelings and learn how to heal them, you become vulnerable to a host of negative thoughts, experiences and actions (i.e.
drinking/eating too much, acting out physically, etc.) which are harmful to you or anyone in your life.
It is more about how we are in relationships with ourselves that should be our touchstone and indicator of “relationship readiness.” So, how much do YOU love yourself? Even when you know it was the right decision, uncomfortable feelings can arise.
Whether it stems from loneliness or a general disorientation to your new single life, you can sometimes feel ready to move forward, when you are anything but.
In fact, it’s not fair to a new partner or to you if you are dating on the rebound, trying to relive or forget what you had before.
In other words, don’t jump into anything too quickly until you are really ready and also aware of your motives.
In this scenario, it may be beneficial to date someone who you feel is independent and responsible.
This could lead to equality and mutual respect, as opposed to neediness and codependency. Ask yourself how much you love yourself As a counselor, I often have clients come to me after a breakup.
Use the 3 R’s to avoid making the same mistake twice,… A question sometimes posed after this work is: “When should I date again? ” We attract people who treat us like we treat ourselves, and if someone does not like themselves very much, it will be impossible for them to be discerning.Do you see your partners as being needy or irresponsible?You may be dating people that put you in the position of feeling needed and validated.This is when we are bringing our A game, putting our best foot forward, and being the best partner possible. Take time to date yourself, travel, cross some items off your bucket list, reconnect with old friends, volunteer, visit family, etc…Keep this in mind when you meet your next potential suitor and you swear they are “THE ONE”. Many happy couples share that they met their partner when they least expected it. The Roles – While you are dodging The Rep and taking time for yourself, it can also be helpful to look at past relationships and what role you and your partner took on.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has skeletons in the closet, and no one is perfect. You may notice a pattern emerging and can use this information to seek a healthy and happy relationship.